Caroline and the Catharsis
by Linge
Summary: AU version of the start of "Caroline and the Wayward Husband". Caroline has a reaction to Richard and his apparent eagerness to dance with Julia at the restaurant.


**Caroline and the Catharsis**

"So tell me, why were you so eager to dance with Julia last night, anyway?" Caroline had sat down on the bed, and despite trying to sound casual, she realised that it had come off as an accusation.

Richard frowned. "What do you mean? I like dancing."

Caroline raised her eyebrows, and pressed her lips together hard in irritation. "Yeah, right. And I like uncomfortable confrontations." _And yet, I appear to be engaging in one right now._

"Come on, Richard, you hate dancing."

"No, I don't."

Caroline sighed, rolling her eyes. "Yes, you do. I've always had to struggle to get you to dance with me. But when Julia asked you, you practically jumped onto your feet. It was almost like you were trying to demonstrate to me that it's just _me_ you don't want to dance with."

"Is that a problem?" It was an attempt to pull off indifference, but as soon as it came out of his mouth he felt beyond awful. It actually pained him.

Her eyes narrowed significantly. "No, not at all," she said sarcastically. "I love the fact that you find me so unlikable you don't even want to dance with me, unless I pester you. I also love that you evidently feel you need to lie to me. Don't sugar coat anything for me, I don't want that."

"Caroline..."

"No! Don't do that. Don't "Caroline" me. I'm just saying, if you don't like me, that's perfectly fine. We can still work together. Just don't ask me to play your wife again the next time your ex-girlfriend's in town."

He groaned inwardly. "Caroline! I like you just fine."

"Gee, how sweet. Thanks."

"Look, will you stop this?" he asked exasperatedly, feeling the first signs of a stress headache.

Caroline crossed her arms over her chest. "Why should I? It's time for you to be honest with me. What do you _really_ think of me?"

"Caroline..."

"No!" she exclaimed, raising her voice slightly. "Richard! Just tell me the truth, for once! Why are you always so reluctant to be near me?"

"I didn't realise I was!" he hissed. _LIE_.

She scowled at him, and stood up in a huff. "Oh, please! You know exactly what you're doing! It's obviously deliberate. So just tell me, Richard: why? Why are you like that?"

"Because I WANT you! Okay? I want you!" _Oh god, no. No._

Caroline's eyes widened in shock.

"Wha... what?" She was sufficiently stunned. Had she heard him right?

Richard's mind was reeling. _Shit. Shit. Why did I say that? Why? Oh my god. I need to go kill myself. There is no way out of this. I might as well just leave and never come back._

"I... oh god..." he stuttered. He didn't know what to say. All he could think about was how much he hated himself.

"Richard, what are you saying?" Caroline's voice had softened considerably. She sounded almost worried, and the last word had faded into a whisper.

Richard wanted to sink into oblivion. This was his worst nightmare. He had worked so hard to avoid this, and somehow he'd snapped and let his deepest, darkest secret slip out. How could he have let that happen? How could he lose his self-control so completely? All he could do now was stand there in silence; eyes closed in despair, mentally kicking himself for screwing up so royally. He couldn't look at her. He just couldn't.

"Richard, just tell me the truth," Caroline continued, after standing in silence for a considerable amount of time. She wanted to scream, but she was all too aware of the Italian brunette who was asleep downstairs on her couch. Besides, she didn't seem to have the strength for it, anyway.

Eventually, Richard managed to find his voice.

"Caroline, I have to be careful around you." _Oh god, did I just say that? What is wrong with me?_

"Just… please stop pushing me on this. _Please_. I'm begging you."

There was silence again for a while. Caroline's head was spinning. She was studying Richard, who was still standing in the same position by the bathroom door. He was looking down at his feet, and it almost looked like he was in pain. What was going on inside his head?

"How do you… want me?" she managed, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Please just leave it," Richard said in agony. He could feel his whole life being ripped out from under his feet. He was beyond terrified.

She could see that he was struggling more and more with every second. Did he really say he wanted her? She realised that her heart was racing at the idea of being wanted by Richard, and she wondered when she had started feeling like this. It was unfamiliar, and yet familiar at the same time, and she had to consider the fact that she'd been feeling this way for a while. But how did _he_ feel? What did he _want_? She looked at him, as he continued to stare down at his feet, and she recalled how he had made her feel when she'd actually danced with him last night at the restaurant. It had freaked her out, because it had been so unexpected, but the more she thought about it, the more she realised she had been feeling like this for quite some time. It was like looking at him through different eyes, somehow; he was handsome, and sweet, and without really thinking it through she got up and walked towards the spot he still appeared to be rooted to. She needed to put this to the test.

She stood in front of him, close enough to hear him breathe, and she felt her own breathing get increasingly unsteady.

"Do you want me… here?" she asked with a heavy voice, looking at him intently.

He didn't respond. He barely even raised his head. Caroline realised she would have to push even further.

She moved to put her arms around his neck. His breathing got even heavier, and being this close to him made Caroline's stomach flutter.

"Do you want me… here?" she said again, and he finally looked up, fright evident on his face. He still seemed unable to speak. She decided to just go ahead and finish what she'd started.

She raised herself up on her toes, and leaned in until she was dangerously close to his mouth.

"Do you want me _here_?" His breathing was very unsteady at this point, and the electricity that was running through her as she felt his breath against her mouth was almost tangible. She couldn't stand it any longer; she closed the space between them completely, covering his lips with hers.

For a second or two, Richard's brain was unable to comprehend what was happening. It seemed so unreal, like it was another one of his dreams. But when his brain caught up, he realised that it wasn't, and he also realised that he was just standing there, stiff with horror. What was he doing? Here was the most beautiful woman in the world, and he wasn't doing anything! He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close as he kissed her back with everything he had; everything he _was_. Two years of loving her silently was being unleashed in this very moment, and it quickly turned into a force of nature. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue slipped in to intertwine with hers, and the kiss grew more intense, more passionate, as he finally allowed himself to let go completely. He could lose himself in this kiss; it was the most incredible feeling in the world.

Caroline's world was spinning madly, as she tried to remain steady, feeling her legs begin to tremble. She was drowning, but in the best possible way, and she realised that she had never, _ever_, been kissed like this before. She felt Richard tighten his grip on her, giving her poor legs a much-needed break. Another moan escaped her mouth, pressed against his, and her head was swimming. What was this unfamiliar sensation fluttering around in the pit of her stomach? As he ran his hands lightly up and down her back, she shivered, and then she realised what the answer to her question was: he was kissing her like she was special. He was touching her like she was precious, somehow. Or maybe she was just imagining it, but it didn't matter because the feeling was amazing either way.

Breathless, Caroline reluctantly pulled away, breaking off the kiss. Her hands were still trembling, and she rested her forehead against his as she tried to compose herself.

However, once she had steadied her breathing somewhat, she didn't know what to say. She didn't actually want to say anything. She wanted something completely different. Without thinking, she pulled off her pyjama shirt, forgetting that she was no longer wearing a bra until she suddenly found herself standing in front of him, completely topless. She blushed, but pressed ahead.

Looking into his eyes, she bit her lower lip, stepping backwards out of her pyjama bottoms so she was standing there in nothing but panties.

"Do you want me like this?" she whispered shakily.

Richard was staring at her, still looking like he was in a significant amount of pain. _Please, say something, Richard._

"Caroline…" He fought to keep his voice under control. She was so unbelievably beautiful. He couldn't help but wonder what had gotten into her, but he quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of his head. He had dreamed of this moment for two years.

"I want you. I just _want_ you. I want every single part of you." His voice was barely above a whisper, and with a trembling body he stepped over to her, running his hands carefully down her bare arms, before touching her cheek lightly.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered. "So incredibly beautiful."

Caroline's eyes went blank with tears. She whimpered.

"Kiss me," she whispered, her breath catching in her throat.

He captured her lips once again in a desperate kiss. The desire coursing through his veins was immense, and his hands started roaming all over her almost-naked body. He could feel her tremble under his touch, which only fuelled his fire even more. Finally, his hands brushed against her breasts, causing her to gasp as she moved to undo the buttons on his shirt. In a frenzied attempt to speed things along as he realised that he was still covered in way too many layers, he moved his hands to unbuckle his trousers, struggling to step out of them before gently guiding her backwards towards the bed, just as his shirt fell to the floor. Reaching the edge of the mattress, he lifted her off the ground before tumbling into bed with her, pushing her firmly down into the covers. Caroline giggled softly, one of the sweetest sounds in the entire universe to Richard's ears, and he smiled against her lips as he continued to kiss her soundly, passion overtaking their bodies once again.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her. But he couldn't do that, not yet. He could show her, though; he could let his hands slide all over her delicate skin and kiss her perfect lips, loving her wordlessly, which he could probably do for hours. He'd certainly dreamed about it. So with gentle strokes and loving kisses, he tried to show her that she was, in fact, perfect. That he'd never want anyone else ever again. Just her. Forever.

A knock on the door caused them both to freeze. Richard wanted to scream in frustration. Caroline threw her head back and bit her lip in agony.

Reluctantly, Richard rolled over to the side, and they made their way under the cover, smoothing down their hair and composing themselves as best as they could.

"Come in!" Caroline piped. The door opened to reveal Julia holding Salty, who was struggling to get out of her grasp.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but your pussycat is acting a little bit upset."

"Aw, Salty, come to mommy," Caroline said, holding out her arms. Julia dropped the cat on the bed, and there was an awkward silence for a moment before Richard intervened.

"Well, goodnight."

Julia gave him a strange look he couldn't quite decipher. "Goodnight," she replied, before walking back downstairs, closing the door behind her. Salty jumped off the bed and sauntered off into the bathroom.

"Oh god," Richard said in exasperation, covering his face with his hands. What sort of mess had he gotten himself into?

"Richard, are you okay?" Caroline asked nervously. She was beginning to wonder if he had started to regret the whole thing, and worry began to creep under her skin, despite all those things he had said to her just minutes ago.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, unable to look at her. Now that the spell had been broken, he was scared out of his mind at the possibility that it had just been a big mistake on Caroline's part. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it if that were the case. He felt her hand touch his arm, and fought the urge to grab her and kiss her again.

"Hey… why are you sorry?" Her voice was gentle, with a hint of concern. He slowly raised his head to look at her.

"For all of this," he said sadly.

"Are you saying you regret what just happened?"

Richard ached at the sound of her voice, and he looked back down into his lap. "_I_ don't, no. But I thought you might…" His voice faded. He couldn't finish the sentence.

She reached for his hand, and grabbed it firmly.

"Richard, will you look at me for a minute?"

He did, reluctantly, and when he saw the look on her face he almost stopped breathing.

"I don't regret anything," she whispered, as tears appeared in her eyes. But she was also smiling.

"Are you… sure?" he asked, somewhat stunned.

She chuckled softly. "Hang on, let me think about that one." She shook her head, and put her hand on his cheek before leaning in to kiss him gently on the lips.

Pulling away again, she bit her lower lip as she looked into his eyes. Realising what she was trying to tell him, he finally allowed himself to smile at her.

"There's one thing I don't understand, though," she interjected. "You clearly have feelings for Julia, so why was it so easy for you to get out on that floor with her?"

Richard sighed. "You have to understand, Caroline… with Julia, I have nothing to lose, but with you… I stand to lose absolutely everything."

A tear finally rolled down Caroline's cheek.

"So you don't… love her?" she asked meekly.

He smiled. "No. I have a history with her, and sure, she's attractive, but that's it." He grimaced, before his face softened again. "Caroline, I've been trying to escape my feelings for you for two years now. But I can't. I love you."

She was crying now. "You do?"

"Yeah. So there, the truth is out."

She smiled wryly, but leaned in to rest her forehead against his.

"Finally," she whispered against his mouth, before kissing him again.

And this time, they weren't interrupted.


End file.
